a space to clear out the loud thoughts in my head


edging closer to the truth,
I know that soon life will be
too full and different and I
could change. could be someone
more or else, could be all
that I ever felt short of –

and do I not owe it to that young,
anxious girl who was always so
concerned where she would end up,
to stay me through everything –

or that life will be remade
and I need the blanket of new identity
to see me through, but I am too set
to change –

and out of everything
and everyone, all
the possibilities
bursting into light,
so close they can almost be seen –

who should I be throughout it all?



in a stretched out, hollow tree
the faeries lie in their cotton dreams –
and when the sun circles through
the branched gates windows of green shrouds of light
all unfurl their petals

we can escape – in our golden wisps;
strange from the outside,
but a marvel of the world.

Our Years

our years are supposed to bring us knowledge beyond all else, yet
each second I lose more and more until –
like a bird called home across seas,
I feel a presence, a need that
cannot be placed, and every
second just slips further
into silence – this
page is a page,
words, words,
the distance
is –

in memory of the light that used to grow

I don’t pity you anymore,
that steady beat of shine
brought comfort –
once upon a time.

But the glittering dust lifted
and I changed beyond thought,
this jagged edged Jane
remains untaught.

So hoist the sails of darkness
and drift slower into the depths,
this is how warmth emerges now
as a shuddering, stuttered breath.


all your troubles,
just breathe
into the moment.


It was summer
when it drifted through
in the dry heat
and I found myself
under glass –

I watched it all from a distance
in the back of my mind,
saw all my actions play out,
I could still talk, walk,
play the part I had.

But it wasn’t real.

It was an illusion of life,
every second a picture
of haze and I’m drowning
trying to find the way out,
trying to find
a moment
that can just be a moment,
nothing more, less, different,
I just crave
as it is,
as it used to be.


I don’t think I can exist without